I think I have discovered that this is not healthy. I have been wound up, tired, emotional and lacking energy and enthusiasm for life. Don't get me wrong I love my son more than life itself but I just need to find 'me' again. I need to start doing all the things that make me happy and form my identity that I have created over all of these years. I know what I love and I know what makes me happy but I always and always have put everyone else before me. I think I can be a very selfless person. I love doing things for others and making sure I am making everyone else happy ~ but where do I fit in? When is there time to make myself happy? I ask myself that question all the time yet I don't change, I still don't put myself first.
2015 is the year to FOCUS. To put me first because after all, if I am happy than surely this will mean that I am a 'better' Mum and a better fiancé?
So that brings me to this new blog. A place that I want to share and unravel my journeys in words and pictures. A place that I want to document and discover a new more balanced, happy and creative life. I want my son to see and enjoy the real me and enjoy what I enjoy. I want him to thrive and be creative in whatever means he sees himself happy. I need do this for myself but I also need to do it for my family. Whether no one reads this blog but myself, well then that's ok because I see this as a journal and a virtual place to make sure I am documenting and discovering more about myself. I am not an open person, I mostly keep my life private and hidden but I have grown to realise that I am not ashamed of my life and that I have a lot to celebrate and write about. I want to enjoy writing again.
So I hope that you will follow me along my little journey of rediscovering myself this year and sharing and (hopefully inspiring) you to CREATE.
Until my next post,