My new little blog.

New years resolutions...we all have them right? and then we forget them as the new years haze wears off. Well anyway....I have been doing a lot of thinking. It's been such a HUGE year. My first year as a Mum. Those that are reading this that have been through this same life changing experience will understand me when I say that I have changed, life has changed, priorities have changed and my understanding of life and it's meaning has changed as well. My life centres around one very loved little boy. So why have I been doing so much thinking? -- well I feel like in my journey as a new Mum I lost my 'identity' as KAYLA. I was 'Elijah's Mum'. I stopped creating, I stopped reading. I stopped enjoying and doing all the things I loved to focus on being a Mum.

I think I have discovered that this is not healthy. I have been wound up, tired, emotional and lacking energy and enthusiasm for life. Don't get me wrong I love my son more than life itself but I just need to find 'me' again. I need to start doing all the things that make me happy and form my identity that I have created over all of these years. I know what I love and I know what makes me happy but I always and always have put everyone else before me. I think I can be a very selfless person. I love doing things for others and making sure I am making everyone else happy ~ but where do I fit in? When is there time to make myself happy? I ask myself that question all the time yet I don't change, I still don't put myself first.

2015 is the year to FOCUS. To put me first because after all, if I am happy than surely this will mean that I am a 'better' Mum and a better fiancé?

So that brings me to this new blog. A place that I want to share and unravel my journeys in words and pictures. A place that I want to document and discover a new more balanced, happy and creative life. I want my son to see and enjoy the real me and enjoy what I enjoy. I want him to thrive and be creative in whatever means he sees himself happy. I need do this for myself but I also need to do it for my family. Whether no one reads this blog but myself, well then that's ok because I see this as a journal and a virtual place to make sure I am documenting and discovering more about myself. I am not an open person, I mostly keep my life private and hidden but I have grown to realise that I am not ashamed of my life and that I have a lot to celebrate and write about. I want to enjoy writing again.

So I hope that you will follow me along my little journey of rediscovering myself this year and sharing and (hopefully inspiring) you to CREATE.

Until my next post,

Ally said...

Welcome back Kayla Renee xoxo <3

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